One of you has just handed the other a major blow, you might have confessed or been caught in the act, but one of you has had an affair which will have ripped your partners world into tatters. The question now is, can somebody who has been proved unable to say no deserve a second chance. Can your relationship survive cheating?
In the first instance it all depends on the person that you have cheated on. Trust is the main foundation in a relationship and when that crumbles it takes a lot to shore it up again. If the affair was a silly one of then the cheated partner is more likely to forgive than if it has been a long term affair, that suggests a certain chemistry, commitment and a great deal of experience in lying.
What kind of relationship have you had up to this point. If it is a good one then does either of you want to lose it, on the other hand, if this is an all too familiar situation then is it worth carrying on. A relationship is composed of two equal partners and both partners have to work for the good of the relationship. If you have someone addicted to affairs then they are not bothered about the good of the relationship, all they care about is themselves, you might be able to bring them into the real world but it would take a lot of work and effort with no guarantee of success.
There are a number of theories as to why people cheat on their loved ones. Women will look for reassurance that they are still desirable and attractive and some because their partners cannot make them feel passionate. Men will cheat because they find something missing in the relationship or themselves, or maybe that they feel that their partner is unavailable to them and will not take the time to listen to them. To me there seems to be a theme running through this which is a complete lack of effective communication.
Assuming that you are not psychic you have to communicate with each other, not just on a pass the remote or take out the trash level, you need to let your partner know what your are thinking, feeling, what you need from the relationship. Do not drop vague hints and then sulk because they are not picked up on, be open, honest and respectful, if you have something that you need to say, say it. If you keep communicating then issues that could become relationship wreckers can be spotted early, and dealt with. I am assuming that you talked when you were building your relationship, letting your other half know your hopes, dreams and desires? It was stopping all that that has got you into this mess.
Can your relationship survive cheating? That very much depends upon you two. If you both still love each other and you believe that the relationship can still go places then face this thing head on, and together. You get couples who make up every day all over the world, the chances are that some of them have gone through worse than you have, what unites them is that they can see that they have something worth fighting for, something worth saving that they cannot live without.
Can your relationship survive cheating? I hope so, because if you can make things work then your are likely to come out of this mess far stronger than when you went in.
The one who was cheated on has got the immense task of having to be able to forgive their partner and move on, if they cannot then they will become trapped in their bitterness, anger and resentment and maybe never able to find happiness. Rebuilding the relationship will not be easy, but others have gone through it and come through it, and if you work at it together then so can you.
Make sure that you do not stop communicating with each other, you never know, you might enjoy it. Start bringing some fun back into the relationship and learn how to enjoy each others company again. Go on dates, share interests or maybe just go for a walk in the park, anything that brings the two of you together. Regardless of how busy and hectic life gets, always take some you time, time spent together, time spent strengthening you relationship, and as I said before, you never know, you might enjoy it. I really hope that things work out for you and that you can get your lives back on track.
Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further into the mysteries of understanding the opposite sex and relationships then my site might be onf interest to you. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.
http://www.reviewthemagicofmakingup.com
Further Reading
http://oaktree.cbsnews.com/blogs/2010/02/18/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry6220778.shtml
Oscar Goodman the mayor of Las Vegas is turning down an invitation to meet
http://www.ktnv.com/global/story.asps=11996202
19 Feb 2010. Las Vegas NV (KTNV) – Mayor Oscar Goodman refused an invitation to meet with President Obama who is in Las Vegas to host a town hall
http://www.caringforwomyn.com/dr_goodman
Not just adding years to your life adding life to your years.
http://www.caringforwomyn.com/
Attendance at and faculty member of the 30th annual North American Menopause
http://www.extendedworldtravel.com/interview/why-travel-meet-the-goodmans-full-time-travelers
30 Nov 2009. Goodman’s: Meet and enjoy the people of Mexico and those who travel into it. We also want to learn and see as much about this close neighbor
http://www.catchhimandkeephim.com/
If you feel like you’re unlucky in love you need to learn these secrets about what works – and doesn’t – when you want to meet a good man
Submitted Questions
why is it so easy for men to walk away from some they claim to have strong feelings for—-
he claimed that i brought out feelings he has not felt in man yrs-i captured his heart.he would talk to me from the time he got up til he went to bed-then one day it stopped for a couple days then went back to talkin all day i asked him why he said he was sorry been slacking.then it happened again-this time i was hurt by it-so i tried to talk to him and he didnt respond so i wrote a ltr saying i cant take this anymore-how he can just turn his feelings on and off like a lite switch.i asked him what was his feelings for me-he responded saying he dont want to hurt me anymore-i told him i needed to know- he responded his feeling dont matter- i took it as he didnt have any feelings fo rme at all all the things he said to me was a lie-so i told him so i feel in love with a lie. i asked him if he wanted to try to make this work or let it go-he said let it go-i hurt 2-more than you know. we have not talked since-im lost without him-i feel so empty-i truely love this man! ehat else can i do
it’s not easy for them they do it because sometimes it feels like the best choice even though it may not be the best choice.
Random Thought of the Day
“And there was this good sense that I had to indicate the text prior to I explained them. Now I’m older and significantly less idealistic and I’ve learned that females truly want to know these phrases. So like all adult males I may perhaps on event be tempted to mention them to gain using a women” he states. Ladies really don’t go there!
Really should gals say the magic phrases instead “Never” advices Roger Elliot. “If you have ought to tell a gentleman you love him it is in all probability premature and when you tell him he is planning to come to feel trapped.
Tags: term affair, Danny Dumps, hectic life, United Kingdom, long term affair, FM radio station, real world, vague hints, first instance, major blow
