Why Women Have Relationship Challenges

I have always concluded that it is the woman that chooses the man. Well, believe it or not, it is. A man and a woman enter into the same space. In less than a few seconds, the woman decides she wants/likes the man or not. And while the man is ” faffing” around, making shy, (sometimes, silly-looking), uncertain and coy movements, the woman has decided either to make things easy for him, or to make it hard. In that process, sometimes, she gives him the wrong signal, and he might be made to pay dearly for it. However, if he gets the correct signal, and wins, she watches as he does most of the work of wooing her, while she playfully enjoys it. This whole process is great, until the relationship problems begin, and the woman begins to loose control of her man. Challenges in relationships do not discriminate when it comes to religion, age or nationality. As a Relationship Counsellor, I know too well, that the same challenges face every woman, regardless of beauty, or the lack of it.

There are many reasons why women have relationship challenges, but it appears that the main reason is because women simply just do not understand men. If a woman really understood her man, she’d know how to effortlessly fit into his life, and make the things around him fit into the things around her. The major problem for a woman in a relationship crisis, or in the effort to understand her man, is who to turn to for advice. Many women usually turn to all the wrong things for information and advice. Many seek advice from their friends (some of whom are struggling with their own relationships too), and/or they rely on relationship advice from women’s magazines (some of these are written by people who have never entered relationships themselves). While it is not wrong to read magazines and find similar situations, it is important to remember that everyone is different and every situation will also be different, so consulting a relationship counselor might work best.

It is perfectly OK to seek the listening ear of a friend if the aim is to simply ” offload” your issues, especially if by talking to a friend you would feel much better. However, you need to remember that talking to your friends will likely result in a closer, deeper, and much better friendship with your friend, and not with your partner. It does precious little to improve your relationships with your man. So what is the answer? The answer is to understand what your man wants. However, what men say they want, and how they act – are often two very different things!

Most women simply do not know how to make a man feel good. Believe it or not, the majority of women have the mistaken notion of that learning a few sexual tricks and bedroom stunts from Cosmo and the Kama Sutra, or that by cooking him sumptuous meals ” better than his Mama ever made” should do the trick, and that this will make their man devoted to them forever. Unfortunately, that notion is such an outdated mode of thinking derived from the fable which says ” The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” — or his crotch, in most instances.

If that were so, then obviously, sex therapists, prostitutes and professional chefs should have the best marriages, shouldn’t they? I know men who have left great cooks for women who live inside Take-Away boxes. It appears therefore that there is a lot more to making a man feel good than good food and great sex.

I recently learnt a big secret. The man a woman chooses actually wants to be enraptured by the woman, and like a little child, he wants to be the absolute centre of attention. He may not openly admit it, but men like their head rubbed like a little child. He wants to be lured, and cuddled, finessed, ” bewitched” (enchanted or possessed) and (if you like) seduced by his woman. And, no, he does not mind surrendering to her every manoeuvring (as if he didn’t notice), nor does he mind being rendered powerless by her. Many a man would gladly give anything to the woman who can make him feel good, and then he will marry her. Beautiful looks, sex appeal, money, power, or prestige do not rate as high as the ability to make your man feel good about himself, and all it takes is a little regular practice.

Every man wants to be a ” hero” to some woman. What you do and how you do it; the things you say, and how you say it, can touch your man’s heart, and make him feel so safe around you such that he will allow you to influence his thinking with little resistance. A wise woman would make him think that the idea was his from the start. Every woman in a relationship or contemplating a relationship with a man need to know what her man wants, especially so that you can get from him everything your heart desires. You must learn how to spiritually and naturally connect with your man. If you’re a married woman, you should learn how to sustain or reignite the spark in your marriage, make your husband fall in love with you all over again, enjoy deeper intimacy with him, and have an enduring marriage.

Hey, you can actually be your imperfect self, and still be loved by your man. You can develop the courage to remove your masks, be truly happy around him and be loved in spite of your imperfections. Leave your past behind, live victoriously in your present and build the foundation to enjoy your future. Get rid of all those ” layers’ that keep your man from knowing and loving you. Develop the ability to easily diffuse quarrels, arguments, and other relationship troubles as they occur, and be able to effortlessly influence your man to your way of thinking. Stop spending your time trying to figure him out or reading him like a book. Learn to completely understand your man, and use that understanding to create the relationship you desire.

Yinka Dixon is a Relationship Coach and Diversity Dialogue Facilitator. A Journalist, Trainer, Public Speaker; and Author of ” How To Make Your Own Perfume At Home” – http://www.yinkadixon.blogspot.com

Further Reading

http://bizzywomen.com/2009/how-to-make-a-man-fall-in-love-the-simple-plan-to-getting-him-hooked-for-good/
5 Mar 2009. Are you lonely and ready to find the man of your dreams Do you want him to fall in love with you and never leave you

http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-make-any-man-fall-love-with-you-360813/
16 Apr 2010. Make any man fall in love with you Men are sometimes hard to deconstruct. What can you do to get him to fall for you just as hard

http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/
9 Oct 2010. How to make a man fall in love with you. Become a feminine womanly mysterious & ideal woman. Learn the Feminine arts.

http://makehimfallinlovetoday.com/
And Never Want To Leave gossip columns and magazines never run out of it’s tips on how to make a man fall in love and with good reason too! Getting a

http://cyberfortunetelling.com/western-zodiac/pisces/How-To-Get-A-Pisces-Man-To-Fall-In-Love-With-You.html
How To Get A Pisces Man To Fall In Love With You If you want a Pisces man to fall in love with you then pamper him. There are some signs.

http://www.zimbio.com/Make+a+Man+Fall+In+Love/articles/FhzSI_GxwND/How+Get+Capricorn+Man+Fall+Love
Capricorn men are very driven to succeed and to them their career is very important. The interesting thing is they love to feel needed so if you are

http://www.hilary.com/dating/menandlove.html
What Makes a Man Fall in Love Why we can’t let love in until you’ve shown us the way.. “I’m getting married in a couple months to a woman I love deeply

Submitted Questions

He told me he liked me.
He told me that he liked me but he also told me that he liked another girl. I was very confused. He’s like a brother to me but I have started to notice things about him more and I discovered that I like him. We talk on AIM almost daily which is why we know a lot of things about each other. There have been instances where he asked me how he could get the other girl to like him. Today we all went out to a belated Xmas event together. We went skating. He can’t skate! xD That was really fun. I ended up getting to hold his hand. But it was only so that I could support him. We talked about it online after we got home and he told me that he enjoyed getting to hold my hand. But then he adds “I wonder how ******’s hands feel”. I got into major jealousy mode.

Do you think I have a chance with him I have a feeling that the other girl likes him back. Everybody says they look good together and thought that I would never like a person like him. What should I do How can I capture his heart<--feeling poetic

Hmm...he probably said how the other girl's hand feels only to see if you get jealous. He's probably using that other girl thing as a reason to see whether you get jealous or not. I do it! You have a big chance. If he likes you and tells you that and tells you that he likes holding your hand but wonders what the other girls is like. Hes just wanting to see your reaction to see whether you like him back. If he ask you out and you didn't like him back that would be really awkward o_O

Random Thought of the Day

We blossom on figuring out that your we really like and adore enjoys the best way we take care of ourselves for him. That consists of the little bits of oneself that we’re definitely not that content with. They’re no different. You may possibly not recognize this but the person also wants to listen to your compliments. Show him the way you truly enjoy the new haircut or even compliment him on all those new shoes he is wearing.